My bff wants to go to sports bars during world cup dressed as h-core fans of whatever country we want and cheer like maniacs. I have never watched soccer. I have never played soccer. But damn, girl. I’ll dress up and drink with you whenever you want.
I’m going to learn some rules so I can yell things out at random intervals like “THAT’S BULLSHIT” and “YOU SUCK.”
Yeah yeah! Nothing spells good times quite like my buddy and I completely out of our element trying to blend in using nothing but beer, bright clothes and trash-talking.
- JM: Did you wake up this morning feeling like P. Diddy?
- T: If P. Diddy feels like a peice of shit, then yeah. I felt just like him.
I’m going to try biking to my work and back in about 10 minutes.
Last year I tried biking to the grocery store and back and ran right into a lamppost.
Bad idea: Doing 6 shots with your friend.
I wish I hadn’t give Casablanca to my mama. Tonight is totally a Casablanca kind of night.
My Nutella froze.
I’ve engineered a fireplace out of candles and I haven’t left the warmth of my bed since I got here. I’ve made a nest that you can’t make me leave. It’s got crackers, fruit punch and the internet, and there’s a Julia Roberts marathon on TV.
I just wish I had a clapper so I wouldn’t have to get up to turn off the lights.